Epic Beard Man Facts

[NES]

Epic Beard Man killed the Sheriff but his "Ali Shuffle" killed the deputy

 

[NES]

Epic Beard Man won the Vietnam War but was too busy pimpin ho's to tell anybody

 

[NES]

Epic Beard Man's execution of the the Muhammed Ali Left right left is the only move known to man that can stop a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick.

When Chuck Norris goes to bed he checks his closet for the Epic Beard Man

 

[NES]

Right before Epic Beard Man killed Hitler he looked him in the eye and said "you're gonna get a Vietnam", and then proceeded to football him in the head.

 

[NES]

When Epic Beard Man was in vietnam he didnt wear a helmet to protect his head, his helmet wore an epic beard man to protect itself.

 

[NES]

In Epic Beard Man's opinion napalm doesnt smell like victory, its smells like another fucking day at the office

 

[GasMan]

who is epic beard man?

 

[NES]

^ Epic Beard Man didnt bring you into this world, but he sure in the fuck might take you out

 

[NES]

Chris Hansen once let the Epic Beard Man have sex with his 11 year old daughter

 

[NES]

Epic Beard Man wasnt taking the bus home, he was protecting the buss's precious cargo of imported amber lamps

 

[NES]

Some say that his beard is the source of Epic Beard Man's beard , but in reality it's just a good hiding spot for a shank and a hanky

 

[NES]

So just like that you guys are giving up on the Rx being the number one source for EBM facts?

 

[NES]

Epic Beard Man can get a woman pregnant just by rubbing his beard on her, which of course is great news for those women looking to have Epic Beard Babies.

 

[quantumleap]

Good stuff NES!




-EBM is the real batman.

-If Chuck Norris has 5 dollars and Epic Beard Man has one dollar, Epic Beard Man has more money.

-Epic Beard Man can speak French while chugging beer.

-Nobody has the guts to tell Epic Beard Man that Beowolf is not a documentary.

-EBM only came here to do two things: (1) slap the shit out of tough thugs and (2) drink beer…and he’s almost running out of beer.

-In N Out has “Epic Beard Man” on their secret menu. It consists of no bun, no veggies and 2 raw beef patties that have been sitting in the sun for 6 hours.

-Epic Beard Man tans at night.

-Epic Beard Man was the shooter in the grassy knoll.

-Epic Beard Man is the first person to receive a “get out of draft” notice from the government.

-Epic Beard Man is a crip and a blood. Neither side have a problem with that.

-Epic Beard Man knows where Jimmy Hoffa is buried. Authorities are afraid to ask him.

-Epic Beard Man can cook Minute Rice in 10 seconds.

-Epic Beard Man doesn’t play door bell ditch. He plays door bell and stand on your porch waiting for you to say something smart.

-EBM can teach a Chinese person English in Spanish.

Epic Beard Man didn’t have to part the red sea, it parted for him.

Epic Beard Man grew up on tough st. The stop sign knew better and let him roll on by.

Epic Beard Man eats pussies for breakfast, the asshole’s next door know to keep there distance.

Epic Beard Man caught a cold once, it asked for penicillan to kill itself.

Epic Beard Man tried to get into the UFC but they dont have a asswuppin division.

Epic Beard Man walks by newspaper boxes and they spit out the news before it happens.

Epic Beard Man sees a sign that says “line starts here” It automatically changes and says “line starts behind the Beard”.

Epic Beard Man goes to the Zoo and the Lions hide.

Epic Beard Man looked at a fortune cookie and it knew what the real future was.

Epic Beard Man had his wallet stolen once, his wallet kicked the shit outta the guy and came home.

Epic Beard Man is the only person to get the “Nobel Peace Prize” for keeping the peace just by being in the area.

 

[NES]

Epic Beard Man is too pretty for condoms



Chuck Norris was made from one of Epic Beard Man's ribs

If God ever decides to challenge Epic Beard Man to a fight, he better call an ambalamps in advance


Certain frog species have been known to get high by licking Epic Beard Man's belly

 

[Pish Posh]

lol

Great thread

 

[NES]

Epic Beard Man may be a racist mother fucker, but the racist mother he fucks aint his

 

[steve3200]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RqRfHqx8Ce0

Is this the same old man getting tasered?

 

[steaktartar]

i was drinking with epic beard man tonight and i said uncle

 

[NES]

Epic Beard Man single handly outdrank Steak Tartar, outhookered ViejoD, outsnitched kidman, and outrubberroomruined Barman all in the same night.